Do not be this type of customer

I'm not really that upset about these kinds of people, but they come in often enough and sometimes on the same day that this is worth writing about.

The "I need directions, but I'm going to pretend like I might buy something for 5 minutes" customer.

You know why you're in here, so do I. You're lost and need some directions. I'll give them to you gladly if I know how to get where you're trying to go, but for Christ's sake don't do a couple laps around the store after you get what you came for. Do you have anything besides your pen and paper? You're not going to buy anything, and it's not being more polite to act like making a purchase is a possibility. Get the hell out and get on your way, or BUY something. Don't make me watch you pick up different things and put them all back, I just want to get back to whatever it was I had been doing before you walked in. At least buy a water or something else we sell for $1 instead of this charade, it's a waste of time for both of us.

The "I saw you count out my change two times, and slowly- but I'm still going to count everything in front of you before I leave" customer.

Whether you're a big spender with the $100, or just getting a $5 and 5 $1's for your ten, don't insult me by counting it out a third time. I deliberately count the change slowly, especially if someone gives me $100 or $50 or more, and not only once but twice. Why do you have to stand there and do it again yourself? I'm not a magician, I didn't palm any of your cash, and I sure as hell didn't short you. I may not be very good at math but the cash register does that for me, so you can either continue to be a pain in my ass or PAY ATTENTION as I count your change back to you the first or second time, or both.

The "I don't remember the wine I bought but you should be able to based off of my shitty description" customer.

Self-explanatory. Save the bottle, write down the name, but don't expect me to remember what you purchased the last time you were here. If you can't remember it must not have been good enough for the name to stick in your memory. Frankly, I don't care about your predicament, and there's absolutely nothing helpful in what you're telling me.

Honorable mentions:
The "I heard you say thank you and have a nice day, but I'm not going to acknowledge it" customer
The "I fucked up opening this bottle and want to exchange it" customer
The "Let me tell you how shitty my day is for 20-30 minutes" customer
The "I'm in a rush and am going to take out all my frustration on you" customer

I could keep going, but you get the point. There are all sorts of people you deal with when you're behind a register, and not all of them are bad. Some make you laugh, change the way you see your life a little bit, and others make you appreciate things more. It's not that difficult to act like a human being, and why on earth would you give the person selling you your precious alcohol a hard time? Does your life suck that much, that you have to berate a young man doing his job, and providing you with a service? Just because you think you're more important than other people or like I should be grateful you decided to shop here doesn't make you hot shit by any means. The other customers talk shit about you after you leave, because you're the only one who doesn't realize how obnoxious you are.

And if you do things like that and are aware of it you're just not a good person. Go get a hug or something, but don't make my worse just because you're unhappy.