Almost 2am

Took a Lunesta, tolerance is becoming an issue, so I'm being weaned off of it and given something else for sleep for a while. Cycling my sleep meds so I can have my A-Team out there with me next semester.

Played game of soccer in the rain earlier, then hopped into a slightly warm shower (which was still burning my hands, totally numb and devoid of color in the fingers). Poor circulation is a pain.

But check out this guy, casual as hell and in that type of situation. Unless he's enjoying a few last drags before he goes down with the car and dies, it seems like this man hasn't a care in the world.

Certainly makes me feel like a dick for stressing over potential surgery or surgeries to try and improve my sleep apnea. I have to do another overnight sleep study, try and sleep in some hotel type room with a shitty mattress, with tons of electrodes and wires all over my face, chest, and a few on my legs. Not to mention the CPAP machine, a darth vader like mask that basically just pumps a constant airflow into your face so you don't stop breathing and wake up. Well, it's been a year since they gave me my very own CPAP, which if I ever try to sleep wearing, keeps me up and ends up on ze floor. I have no love for that machine, doesn't work for me. But if my number of obstructions (times i stop breathing and wake up) is low enough no surgery. It was at 20 per hour on my back in December right before I went to school and 17 an hour on my side.

If the number is high enough, bye-bye tonsils, uvula, adenoids and whatever else would possibly cut that number down to a reasonable amount and I can start to function at higher levels than I am now. Sure, after 12 years or so you get used to running on empty but I am going to snatch any chance I can get to try and improve the sleep apnea and ideally get rid of it, but that's not too likely. Just having insomnia could make life easier, but any step in the right direction is still progress.

I have a 5 year reunion for my 2004 People to People Student Ambassadors Program trip to Greece, Italy, France, and London for 3 weeks on Sunday - if I can find a ride.

Until next time. Right now I'm going to turn this off and try to sleep.