Brought three books to work today, eleven hours until freedom. It's way too early to tell if I'll be going out tonight or just lying down and resting after I get out.
Desperately need to clean my room and find my grandfather's dogtag - it's been missing for about three weeks and I would be extremely upset if I lost it.
Time is running out, this is the last saturday I have at home until christmas.
Chelsea FC won over Hull City today thanks to a brace by Didier Drogba, the second goal coming in the 92nd minute. A good start to the season, but they need to put games away much earlier.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
It's a new school year in about three weeks, and a new opportunity to aim for something more than the grades I can get without applying myself. I would really like to do well this year, not going to be easy but it won't be the most difficult thing either.
Things are going to change but definitely not on their own, and not in the way I want them to unless I step up and do something about it. It's easy to say you're going to do something, but unless my actions speak for themselves that's all there is - just talk.
In order to be happier I need to set realistic goals and do everything I can to get there. I may act differently than I have in the past, and it would be helpful if I wasn't going to be pressured by the people I know to do something I might not want to.
If you can't accept the fact that I want to start living a little bit differently and start being more responsible, I don't really need you around me all the time.
This is my ladt chance to get off of academic probation or I'm thrown out of school. That's pretty fucking serious, I can't afford to put forth anything less than my best effort, and there are sacrifices that have to be made in order to perform at that level.
I'm scared that being off campus and living with my best friends will be a major obstacle to overcome.
Ultimately it's up to me to make the most out of my situation, and I won't have anyone to blame but myself if I mess things up.
There have been many important moments in my life, and pressure is nothing new but if I can get off of academic probation this semester then I will have accomplished one of many goals I have set for myself - and that's what is most important right now.
I'm going to need a little help making sure I stay on top of everything, but I can't expect it, because if I sit around waiting for somebody to give me a hand and nothing happens I'm in way over my head.
I won't lie, I'm petrified. Every day is going to be a challenge, and every day I'll have to try and meet that challenge and overcome the things in my way. Motivation has always been a problem for me, procrastination is my go-to when something gets assigned. I pray that I can manage my time better and not leave things until it's too late to do my best work. Too many times I find myself finishing up a paper right before class starts, handing in something I'm not especially proud of.
It's almost a new year, and a chance to do things differently this time around.
Things are going to change but definitely not on their own, and not in the way I want them to unless I step up and do something about it. It's easy to say you're going to do something, but unless my actions speak for themselves that's all there is - just talk.
In order to be happier I need to set realistic goals and do everything I can to get there. I may act differently than I have in the past, and it would be helpful if I wasn't going to be pressured by the people I know to do something I might not want to.
If you can't accept the fact that I want to start living a little bit differently and start being more responsible, I don't really need you around me all the time.
This is my ladt chance to get off of academic probation or I'm thrown out of school. That's pretty fucking serious, I can't afford to put forth anything less than my best effort, and there are sacrifices that have to be made in order to perform at that level.
I'm scared that being off campus and living with my best friends will be a major obstacle to overcome.
Ultimately it's up to me to make the most out of my situation, and I won't have anyone to blame but myself if I mess things up.
There have been many important moments in my life, and pressure is nothing new but if I can get off of academic probation this semester then I will have accomplished one of many goals I have set for myself - and that's what is most important right now.
I'm going to need a little help making sure I stay on top of everything, but I can't expect it, because if I sit around waiting for somebody to give me a hand and nothing happens I'm in way over my head.
I won't lie, I'm petrified. Every day is going to be a challenge, and every day I'll have to try and meet that challenge and overcome the things in my way. Motivation has always been a problem for me, procrastination is my go-to when something gets assigned. I pray that I can manage my time better and not leave things until it's too late to do my best work. Too many times I find myself finishing up a paper right before class starts, handing in something I'm not especially proud of.
It's almost a new year, and a chance to do things differently this time around.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Enough
I'm unhappy. With myself.
And I have the next six and half hours at work to sit and think about why and how, and maybe come up with solutions to some of these problems.
Going to write a little bit and try to get some of these emotions out on paper so they don't sit inside my head any more.
And I have the next six and half hours at work to sit and think about why and how, and maybe come up with solutions to some of these problems.
Going to write a little bit and try to get some of these emotions out on paper so they don't sit inside my head any more.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sunburn
Too much sun yesterday, paying for it today during a 9 hour shift.
Great Weekend, saw Inter Milan beat AC Milan 2-0 on Sunday at Gillette Stadium. AC didn't play very well, but Milito's first goal came around the 5th minute and it was well deserved. He cut back across Oguchi Onyewu and buried the shot near post. Ronaldinho had a few nice plays, including a free kick that sped past the post on the wrong side.
Completely spent today, no energy at all. Something incredible would have to be happening to get me to go out after work, I just want to pass out. Not like that will be possible at 9 when I go home but just resting tonight should let me have a life tomorrow.
Four classes next semester, definitely going to be a lot of work, requiring much more effort than last term. It's depressing, the older I get the more serious everything becomes. If maturity doesn't grow at the same rate of age-related reponsibility, there's a problem.
It's time to sacrifice some of the more irresponsible things I do and focus more on the academic side of education instead of the social part. Old habits are difficult to break, it's not going to be simple but if I can get work done ahead of time I won't be scrambling the night before an assignment is due. Or at least not as much.
I can't keep the attitude I have, there's too much at stake not to change. The fact is, if I don't get good grades and get off academic probation I won't be allowed back at USF in the Spring. No pressure, right?
Lately trying to fall asleep has been less trying - but no easier than I'm used to. Tend not to stress out as much any more, but feeling drained the day after a rough night is no good.
But each time the sun rises it's a new day with a whole different set of experiences and opportunities, and all I can do is get out of bed and meet them.
Great Weekend, saw Inter Milan beat AC Milan 2-0 on Sunday at Gillette Stadium. AC didn't play very well, but Milito's first goal came around the 5th minute and it was well deserved. He cut back across Oguchi Onyewu and buried the shot near post. Ronaldinho had a few nice plays, including a free kick that sped past the post on the wrong side.
Completely spent today, no energy at all. Something incredible would have to be happening to get me to go out after work, I just want to pass out. Not like that will be possible at 9 when I go home but just resting tonight should let me have a life tomorrow.
Four classes next semester, definitely going to be a lot of work, requiring much more effort than last term. It's depressing, the older I get the more serious everything becomes. If maturity doesn't grow at the same rate of age-related reponsibility, there's a problem.
It's time to sacrifice some of the more irresponsible things I do and focus more on the academic side of education instead of the social part. Old habits are difficult to break, it's not going to be simple but if I can get work done ahead of time I won't be scrambling the night before an assignment is due. Or at least not as much.
I can't keep the attitude I have, there's too much at stake not to change. The fact is, if I don't get good grades and get off academic probation I won't be allowed back at USF in the Spring. No pressure, right?
Lately trying to fall asleep has been less trying - but no easier than I'm used to. Tend not to stress out as much any more, but feeling drained the day after a rough night is no good.
But each time the sun rises it's a new day with a whole different set of experiences and opportunities, and all I can do is get out of bed and meet them.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Gonna end up a big old pile of them bones
Ran into some obstacles with the apartment we're trying to get, keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best, if I'm the dealbreaker for this place - not sure what I'll do.
Not much I can do really, so instead of getting my mind all twisted up any more, I'm going to take deep breaths and count to ten - but it's not helping much.
Chelsea FC plays Seattle Sounders at 3 P.M. EST, and it looks like there will be plenty of substitutions so it will be nice to see how the team performs as a unit.
Too stressed to write anything else presently
Not much I can do really, so instead of getting my mind all twisted up any more, I'm going to take deep breaths and count to ten - but it's not helping much.
Chelsea FC plays Seattle Sounders at 3 P.M. EST, and it looks like there will be plenty of substitutions so it will be nice to see how the team performs as a unit.
Too stressed to write anything else presently
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
It's time to change some things, this isn't working anymore.
Starting tomorrow, I'm on a break. No more of this do what you want to whenever you want to bullshit. Thinking more about consequences now.
Can not wait to leave home and get back to San Francisco. This is the most important semester, need to perform at the highest possible level, do my best and make sure I do not fuck it up.
Serious isn't a word I would use to describe myself, but I need to change that.
Can not wait to leave home and get back to San Francisco. This is the most important semester, need to perform at the highest possible level, do my best and make sure I do not fuck it up.
Serious isn't a word I would use to describe myself, but I need to change that.
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